You're earring is so big in my mouth
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
