i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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