good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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