I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
