He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
