just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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