I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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