I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
