i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
