She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
