i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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