You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
