thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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