I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
