Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
