who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
