This is not my ceiling
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
