Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
