they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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