just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
