Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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