yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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