True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
