AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
sarcasm needs its own font
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
