i barfeds in our rink
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
