when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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