try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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