ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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