I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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