Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
time to smoke my breakfast
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
