i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
