no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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