i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
