just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
