Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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