I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
