I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
