this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This baby is an asshole
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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