But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
