i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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