NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
