we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
