dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
