I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
