I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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