Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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