She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
