was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
