life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize