remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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