so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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