so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
