You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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