i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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